The Perfect Christmas Card Photo

Attempt #1:

Attempt #2:

3rd Time's a Charm:

God bless Andy and Chloe - who have resigned themselves to the fact that they'll be subjected to multiple photo-ops until it looks just right! 

This finally felt like "the one"!

Merry Christmas to you and yours! May your year be filled with love, joy, peace, health and hope.

All our love,

Andy, Kristen, Chloe, and future Lil' Fuest 

Professions & Lifestyle

I've had the opportunity to work on a really cool project at work for the last several months. It involves designing an online portal system for desktops, and then customizing the design to work on mobile apps, tablets, and any other electronic device you can think of.

I got to laughing the other day when it dawned on me that although I am designing for phones and tablets, I don't own either of them. Nor do I have a desire. (Well, I have a cell phone, but not a crazy-do-everything-imaginable cell phone. Just your basic.) I may have to actually borrow someone's iphone and tablet so that I can play around with it so that I know what the heck I'm doing when I'm designing for them.

So it got me thinking...

Do developers own the latest technological devices?
Do graphic designers have their own logos and business cards?
Do chefs cook amazing homemade meals for their families as well?
Do teachers make it a point to teach more at home for their kids?
Do bankers balance their checkbook?
Do clothing designers wear designer clothes?
Do carpenters build their own houses?
Do event planners plan amazing family parties?
Do doctors take their vitamins and exercise daily?
Do dentists floss every day?

(I could go on, but I will spare you.)

Do our professions necessarily mean we will have a certain lifestyle outside of work? I suppose it depends. My profession as a graphic designer definitely does not transcend every aspect of my home. I don't have my own business cards, which has shocked the socks off of some people, but I just don't. It's the ol' "shoemaker's kids have no shoes" deal. And while I do design our Christmas card, it is very tempting to just use an online template (gah!) sometimes.

What about you? Does your profession line up with how you are at home?

(This post brought to you by the random meanderings of my mind!)

Waiting Family + Questions

Thank you sooo much to everyone who celebrated with us when we got the news that we are officially a waiting family! We are so thankful that we have such great friends and family walking this journey with us!

Now, for the questions. A lot of people have been asking great questions, so below I will try and answer them as best I can:

What does it mean that you're a waiting family? I thought you were already waiting!
Ha, good question! A waiting family means that our dossier (the paperwork we've been working on since we started) is all certified and authenticated and waiting with our agency. Now we can officially be put on the waiting list to be matched with a child.

What does 85 mean? Does it mean you literally have to wait for 84 other families to be matched with a child before you are?
85 is our number on the waiting list. Our agency asks us, however, to not cling too tightly to that specific number. All the families adopting from Ethiopia with our agency are on the same waiting list. Families waiting for siblings, infants, older children, special needs, they are all together on the same list. This means, for example, if numbers 1-13 are all waiting for an infant girl, and a toddler boy is available to be matched with a family, then those first 13 families are all skipped and the next family on the list waiting for a boy that age would get the call. That is just one of the many examples, and basically means we could move around the wait list at any given day based on the children that are available and the individual parameters of each family.

What about names? Have you thought about what to name your child?
We have thought about this! We've done a lot of reading and researching on the meaning of names in Ethiopia, read about adoptees and their opinions on their name being changed or staying the same, and asked families we know who've adopted and what they did. We feel like this is something we want to be very sensitive to, and that the decision will probably best be made when we are matched with a child and find out more about them.

How long will you be on the waiting list?
That's a difficult question to answer because there is no way to know exactly. There are so many variables, such as the number of children available for adoption, the number of families waiting, age range and gender, the changes to Ethiopia's process and the affects that will have, etc. The only thing we can really go on is to look at other families who have recently been matched, and see how long they waited. Our agency does this with each referral, to give families an idea of wait times, and right now if we were to go off of the wait times of recent families, we will probably be waiting around 10 months for a referral.

Have you started decorating your child's room?
Ah, you know me all too well :) Normally I would be a paint-swatch-crazy-woman and putting all sorts of ideas together if given the chance (because I just love that stuff!). However, we left our parameters relatively open for the age and gender child we could be matched with. This means, in turn, that we'll have to wait a while before we start putting ideas together. We're also in the midst of doing some reading (my crazy tall stack of books I bought recently!), about what the transition looks like for a child, how to help them transition into our family and home, and what things to think about when putting together a space for them. With this in mind, we have a lot more learning to do before we break out the paint rollers :) (Lucky for me, my brother has a whole lot of projects up his sleeve for me involving paint and decorating in his own place, so my interior design itch should be put to work soon!)

So there you have it. I hope that helps some, and please feel free to ask if you have other questions. I can't guarantee I will be able to answer, but you are welcome to ask :) Thanks again for all your support, kind words, and celebratory hugs! We love you guys and thank you for being a part of this process with us :)

xo,

Kristen

Adoption Update: We're A...

WAITING FAMILY!!!!!!!

SO. SO. EXCITED!!!!

:)

Some Tuesday Randoms

Soooo excited to hear a live orchestra tonight!
Kindof miss playing in an orchestra.
Way behind on Christmas shopping.
We have 3 family pictures for our Christmas card and none of them seem just right yet.
Our tree is up with it's lights on. No ornaments. I think we're leaving it that way!
We miss seeing Chester sleeping under our tree :(
Trying not to twitch while we wait to hear from our agency.
Would love some snow to stick before Christmas.
Thanks Mom, for coming to the rescue with a dress for me to wear tonight!
Note to self: buy a little black dress.
Is it really only Tuesday?
I love drinking hot tea. So much. Almost better than hot chocolate.
Thank you all for the Christmas music suggestions!
I'm still partial to Kenny G.
Had a great small group time last night.
I love discussions that make you think.
Time for a meeting.
Happy Tuesday!

Happy Birthday Gramma!

This weekend we got to celebrate my Gramma's birthday:

I think this is the first time that almost our whole family has been in the same place at once in over a year!

We all contributed photos and things we love about Gramma and my Mom made a beautiful book!

I'm so glad I brought my camera, but I'm equally as glad that several different people at the table would say, "Kristen, camera!!" during some of these moments so that I would actually remember to use it! I get so caught up in experiencing the moment sometimes that I forget to capture it :)

Happy birthday Gramma! May you have many more to come!

We're so glad you were born :)

I Was Never Good At Estimating

I will admit I was CONVINCED it would be easier to wait then to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off gathering paperwork, all along knowing that my speed (or lack thereof) would be the determining factor in moving forward. Well, I was wrong. Waiting is hard. It's especially hard when you thought you had the countdown right, but then you're told something that changes it.

ie: our paperwork was ready on a Monday, but apparently the courier only comes on Thursdays.

ugh.

I suppose I should not include weekends then, too.

So, with a dossier off to Washington DC on Thursday, December 1st (not the 28th, like I thought), that means we're officially on...

business day #4.

Someone pass me the kleenex, because I think I might cry.

Still Waiting...

Today is day 9 of waiting to get the call that we're a waiting family. They say 10-14 days. Trying so hard to be PATIENT!!!!

:)

Letting Go of Expectations

There has been a lot rolling around in my head lately. About a lot of things and a lot of topics. I've come to the realization throughout this adoption process and throughout this past year in general: I have expectations. People have expectations of me. I am really good at setting up my expectations, and then evaluating myself and my effectiveness based on how well I'm meeting my own very high expectations. Some of this is good. It's what makes me good at what I do, accountable to others, and someone that people can trust. However, this also has a down-side: Unrealistic expectations. Or. Inflexible expectations.

I'm what you would call a "good girl". I follow the rules. I turn things in early (not on-time. early.) I show up early. I'm prepared. I finish things faster than others. I check things off my list in record time. I prioritize my shopping list so that I can shop in the order of aisle number - for efficiency, of course. I ride my bike in a straight line - point A to point B. There are no wheelies, circles, zig-zags. I'm on a mission. I make the right choice the first time. I follow directions. If there's a bar that's set, I'm going to finish it better and I'm going to finish it quicker.

(Anyone wanna be my friend? Ha!)

I'm learning that the "good" in "good girl" is not all good.

It took us over 10 months to finish our dossier and get it to our agency. I had to do it twice. Want to know the average time frame that it "should" take us? 3-6 months. I had that in my head from the start, and guess how that worked for me. It meant that every.single.time I was behind schedule, I took it as a direct hit to my effectiveness and good-"ness" as a person, whether the hold-ups were within my control or not. There must be something wrong with me if I can't get it done quicker. This person's doctor letter only took them an hour. Mine's taking me days. Must make up time... must make up time. It was a race. A race I was losing almost every day.

Little did I know the things I would learn during these trying months. I can now say I'm thankful that I actually "learned".

I learned to breathe.
I learned to set goals, but to be realistic and willing to re-evaluate.
I learned to let go.
I learned to loosen my grip.
I learned that my journey is not the same as that of others.
I learned that I was creating a mountain out of a mole hill.
I learned to stop comparing myself.
I learned that "curious" people do not always equal "judging" people.
I learned that there is much to be learned in the process.
I learned there is much to be learned in unmet expectations.
I learned that I should not be defined by my speed or my "better-ness".
I learned I don't have to do it all on my own.
I learned that trials are sometimes when we learn the most about everything.

Without this long, 10 month struggle (that should have been half that long!), I would have missed out on good things. Precious things. I would have missed out on

community.
prayer.
being lavished with encouragement.
depending on others and having them come through in BIG ways.
the journey.
trials turning into triumph.
challenges turning into successes.
having to actually rely on faith.
letting go.
learning.
the support of others.
being a small piece of a whole.
opening my mind.
letting others step in.
asking for help.
being thankful.
the beauty of not actually being in control.

I could go on and on and on. I'm so thankful that I was whacked over the head early on in this process with the importance of taking a step back, putting things in perspective, and truly letting go. I don't freak out anymore when people come up to me and say, "Gosh, this seems like it's taking FOREVER!" or "How much LONGER do you have to wait?!" or "WHEN is your child going to finally get here?" Those questions would have sent me into a frenzy of negative self-talk about my ability to keep the process moving. I would have interpreted those questions as a comment on my effectiveness at paperwork, or understanding the process, or maybe I was just plain insane for starting this whole thing!

Not anymore.

Now I smile and revel in how much we've learned, and in how far we've come. It's not a race. It's not a sprint. We don't have to "hurry up and get there". Our adoption timeline is not a direct reflection of me. A faster timeline doesn't have to mean a better ending. We're not in this just to cross things off a list. This is our story, our family, our journey. I'm sure there will be prayers that are answered swiftly, and prayers that are answered after a long wait. I'm learning to be ok with it.

I'm calming down.

I'm relishing in the little moments. The little victories.

I'm at peace.



And gosh darn it, if I forget the spaghetti sauce my first time around, its ok to go back and get it!




P.S. I would highly recommend this book for all of us "good girls" out there.